Can we say “miss”?
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Can we say “miss”?
The term “miss” has long been used to designate an unmarried young woman. In recent years, however, the term has become the subject of debate and questioning, not least because of its origins and social implications. Let’s dive in!
Origin and meaning of “miss”
The origin of the term “miss” comes from oiselle, meaning white goose, virgin in the Middle Ages. The term applied to young noble girls who did not yet have a title (baroness, countess…), whether married or not. Its male equivalent was the damoiseau, a young nobleman not yet a knight, also known as an écuyer.
In 17th century France, the term was commonly used to designate an unmarried woman. It’s important to recognize that the use of this term was deeply rooted in a patriarchal society where a woman’s marital status was often considered a relevant and defining piece of information about her identity.
Over time, however, the connotations of “miss” began to change. Today, the term has become associated with stereotypes and restrictive social expectations, often portraying single women as “incomplete” or awaiting marriage to be fully “realized”. This reductive connotation is leading to growing concerns about its appropriate use, particularly in professional contexts.
The feminist struggle in France
Since the early 2000s, two French feminist associations, Osez le féminisme! and Les Chiennes de garde, have been defending women against sexist insults, particularly in public spaces, the media and advertising. In 2011, they joined forces to campaign for the removal of the term “miss” from French administrative forms. The associations put forward three main arguments:
- Women were only being asked for this precision. There is no box for young men to tick. Whether reserving a train ticket, concert ticket or loyalty card, women had to indicate their civility, while men were simply “mister”.
- This term was an invasion of privacy. It forced women to explain their personal and family situations. As the word was virtually synonymous with celibate, it allowed men to detect potential sexual availability and could encourage flirting and even harassment, particularly in the workplace.
- It’s an offensive term. Associations denounced the fact that it was the fact of getting married that enabled a woman to be called “madam”, a sign of superiority and a guarantee of respectability.
The result? On February 21, 2012, a circular from the French Prime Minister called for the gradual disappearance of the term “miss” from administrative forms, deemed discriminatory.
Using the term in a professional context
These days, in Quebec as in France, “miss” is particularly used to address young-looking women. This applies not only to children and teenagers, but also to young professionals. For many, this term is reductive, emphasizing a woman’s youth when she’s in a professional context. As the term mademoiselle is really used to talk to little girls, when it’s used to talk to a woman, especially in the workplace, it’s often infantilizing.
What about other French-speaking countries?
The term “miss” has been disappearing all over the world for the last fifty years.
Switzerland abolished the term “miss” in 1973, Quebec in 1976, Luxembourg in 2012 and Belgium in 2015. They in turn have joined the movement.
In other countries, the question has never arisen. This is the case in Sweden and Norway. The titles simply don’t exist.
So, can we call someone miss?
We tend to gender a lot of situations that don’t need to be gendered at all. Let’s ask ourselves what the real need is for a gendered term here? Why add “miss” to a sentence or greeting that could simply be “Hello” or the person’s first name? Using gender-neutral terms avoids taking for granted and assuming everyone’s gender identity.
Ultimately, you don’t risk a fine if you call a woman “miss” in the street. Similarly, in your private life, there’s nothing to stop you using the term. You may even know people who like to be called miss.
However, the evolution in the use of the term “miss” reflects a shift towards a more inclusive approach in the workplace. By abandoning terms that perpetuate stereotypes and restrictive gender norms, we’re fostering a professional environment where every individual is treated with respect and fairness, regardless of marital status or gender.
Do you enjoy inclusive language conversations? Want to create opportunities in your organization? We offer training on microaggressions, unconscious bias and inclusive writing! Contact us to arrange a session!
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